Let It Go

The first thing you have to remember about starting ANYTHING new is that everybody starts somewhere.  You may be starting from scratch, knowing absolutely nothing about clean eating or what exercises to do; or you may be starting at a half-way point, knowing what it means to eat clean, but not really knowing how to work out (or vise-versa).  Maybe you’ve been through it before.
You know how to eat clean
You know what exercises work for you
You know what foods you need to avoid
But you just can’t seem to keep it up. 
I started from scratch, and instead of learning, I chose to pick the junk that I thought tasted good over the whole, clean foods.  I started from scratch with exercise too.  I told myself that since weight loss is really 80% food and only 20% exercise, that I didn’t NEED exercise.  After all, I was what many considered to be lazy.  My diet, even though I thought I was doing okay, was doing nothing to help my energy level, in fact it lead to a development of depression.   But before I get into that, I want to start with giving you your second step on this long road.  Your first step was making the decision that it’s time to get healthy.  Step two is simple. Let it go.  Okay, maybe not so simple. I know it sounds vague, in order to truly move on you need to let go of all of the negativity you are harboring. 
Don’t give me that look
You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.  How many times do you look in the mirror and only have negative criticism about yourself?  How many times do you change your outfit because the one you’re wearing doesn’t look right for various reasons?  For me, I would look in the mirror and only see my weight.  I would put on 20 outfits—no lie, just ask my husband, it made him nuts—before I finally picked on for the day, and I STILL wouldn’t be satisfied.  You have to find the positives.  I want you to go get a mirror.  Right now, I’ll wait.  Okay, got your mirror?  I want you to look into it, and I want you to tell yourself just how beautiful you are, and I want you to really BELIEVE in that.  I want you to really KNOW every good thing about yourself, and then NEVER utter a negative word about yourself ever again.  Why? Because all that negativity builds up.  One day you don’t like your chin, the next your cheeks look too big, and you convince yourself that you’re not as pretty as you’d like to be, and that will change your attitude about everything.  You have to change that attitude if you want to change your habits.  Look on the bright side, and I know that sounds cliché, but it’s what must be done.  Stop changing your outfit because you don’t think you look good, I’ll bet you look great!  And now you’re asking Why does this even matter?  Isn’t that WHY I’m trying to drop this god awful weight anyway?! It matters immensely.  I’m not going to lie or sugar coat anything for you, because when people did that to me I FAILED.  It wasn’t until someone spoke the uninhibited truth that I was able to wake up.  Clean eating, after a lifetime (or even just a few years) of eating crap is HARD WORK.  You are not going to like 50% of the things that are healthy for you, not because those things don’t taste good, but because your taste buds have been conditioned to like the crap.   When we face unpleasant stimuli, we tend to recoil and to never want anything to do with it again.  I’d say a bad taste in the mouth is a pretty negative stimuli, wouldn’t you?  So if you’re used to seeing the negative, ew, that asparagus tasted dreadful, I can’t do this, then what do you think you’re setting yourself up to do?  You’re setting yourself up to quit.  But when you’ve started to see things on the bright side, in a more positive light, that negative experience with the asparagus will turn into Ew, that asparagus tasted dreadful, next time I’m going to have to add some garlic.  See what happened there?  Yeah, it’s still a negative (because plain asparagus is a pretty negative experience-for me at least), but instead of feeling like EVERYTHING is going to be terrible, and thinking that clean eating is just something that cannot be done, you recognize that just cooking it a different way it may taste better NEXT TIME; you’ve seen the brighter side.  This is a lesson that I’ve had to learn the hard way, and over quite a few years.  I’ve started and quit and started again a million times because I failed to see the bright side. STOP STARTING OVER.  The quitting ends NOW.  Look at your glass as half full.  FIND the positive of a situation.  Sure, that blouse might feel a little tight, but it makes your eyes sparkle.  Yeah, your pants might be slightly tight, but your butt looks fabulous in it.  Always find your positives, because the negatives will eat away at you until there’s nothing left to eat away at.

The Journey Begins

The journey from Plus to Petite is a long and agonizing journey.  At one point or another, we've all fallen into the mindset that there HAS TO BE one magic pill, one shake, one wrap, SOMETHING that will take this weight off, because we DO NOT want to change how and what we eat.  I tried the gimmicks, I did ACE, Slim Quick, Alli, Body by Vi, Weight Watchers, My Fitness Pal, ItWorks Wraps, Green Coffee Bean, Raspberry Keytones and SO much more, just to find that ONE magic solution that would take my extra weight away and make me skinny and beautiful like everyone else.  I didn't care about health, I didn't care about what those pills, wraps, programs, and shakes DID to my body as long as they WORKED.  Then I went to have my blood work done. My anemia was getting worse, my cholesterol was MUCH too high for a 25 year old woman, my insulin levels far too high and my blood sugar just BARELY staying normal.  And it wasn't just the inside that was suffering, but my outward appearance was taking a hit. My eyes looked sunken and dark, my skin tone looked sickly, and my body constantly ached as if I were a 60 year old with terrible arthritis.  Psychologically, I was in bad shape as well.  I was depressed, tired, I hated myself, I started to feel like nothing would change. I felt like I would be stuck in this body FOREVER.  DOOMED to being a prisoner in a broken body, never bothering to take responsibility for how I treated my body. I was 330 pounds at my heaviest in 2012 before I even began to think that maybe, just MAYBE, all of this is my own fault.  Yeah, I have PCOS, but PCOS doesn’t make me eat Steak’n’Shake, McDonalds, Arby’s, Wendy’s and all the other fast food out there.  PCOS didn’t make me sit my big bum on the couch day after day, watching crappy reality television and eating chocolate and ice cream.  PCOS didn’t force those delicious Lindt Milk Chocolate Truffles down my throat.  I did that.  I sat there, day after day, eating crap and convincing myself that IF ONLY I didn’t have this terrible issue, I could be NORMAL.  It was ME who decided to blame EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else for MY issues, and for my sheer ignorance of the truth.  It's been a long road, and along that road, I’ve tried the gimmicks, and NONE of them helped me do more than shed weight. You’re probably thinking “THAT’S GREAT!”  No. That’s not great.  I DID lose weight on some of those gimmicks, but it took ALL of them, including starvation-driven diet programs and the most disgusting protein shakes I have EVER had the displeasure of tasting to lose any weight, and my health was still in decline.  My skin looked terrible, my eyes were still VERY dark, my skin tone looked like that of an ill person and I was still depressed.  I was still just as unhealthy, if not more so, than I was when I started all that nonsense.  Sure, I was down 24 pounds, but it took 2 years, and I didn’t feel good.  I didn’t feel good about myself, about my life, or about my health.  And then my life changed.  I took a step that I never thought was possible.  I met an amazing friend and coach who has helped me to face my addictions, and to confront the truth and to MOVE FORWARD.  The truth is that food should be FUEL for your body.  This addiction to food is just as difficult to break as the addiction to smoking cigarettes and can even be as difficult to kick as heroin.  Food=comfort, but she showed me that it doesn't have to be that way anymore.  After only 8 short weeks of clean eating and daily exercise, I dropped a jaw-dropping 39 pounds.  I feel GOOD, my skin looks healthy and vibrant, I no longer feel the aches and pains I once felt, I can stretch farther, and jump higher (jump at all, actually).  I have energy and passion again.  I am HAPPY.  These things are not attainable through crash diets, diet pills, special diet “vitamins”, wraps, crappy shakes, and “cleansers”.  So, if you’re ready, take this journey with me.  Let me teach you what I’ve been taught.  Let me let you in on the real secret to weight loss and healthy living.  Let me help you take that first step.  There are no shortcuts to any place worth going, so let me take you the long way around to the places that you’ve only been in your dreams.